you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize