it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
