How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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