Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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