I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
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It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
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I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...