I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
