I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
