First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
