Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
