I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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