I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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