Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
