I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
