If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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