You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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