He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
