some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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