I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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