I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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