last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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