Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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