does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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