Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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