Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Just cropdusted the office
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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