i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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