Dual....:-)
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
