K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
