I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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