what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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