U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
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I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
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I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely