My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.