u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
