you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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