Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
