We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
