dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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