you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize