i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
