That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize