is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
