my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
