haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
