If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i think i have two assholes
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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