You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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