so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
