you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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