so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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