I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
