are you still at the devil's house?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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