I'm so fucking centered right now
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
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I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
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Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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