similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
