saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
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In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
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She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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