When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.