you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I need a burrito and a hug.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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