oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
