I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's