quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't