I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.