He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
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so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
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Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am