All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
