Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
