my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize