i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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