It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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