I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
