she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
