if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
