she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
